Volunteer #4 - C

(Name protected) I spell my name as C but the way is actually spelt in English is C which literally means by gold/golden. It has Ancient Greek origins and I took it after

my grandmother to honour her memory as its tradition in Greece. It’s not a common name at

all so growing up I was the only one I knew with that name and I was embarrassed, I wanted

to have a ‘’prettier name’’ like Helena, Katerine or Mary and fit better with others. I think

names define who we are and in most cases, our chosen names describe us the best. There

is also that phrase that goes like ‘’oh you look like a (name)’’. Until two years ago I was trying

to come up with a nickname, a stage name or something else that it’s not C for people

to call me but they all sounded weird, like thats not me. I think a part of me was just refusing

to accept me. My name is rare and has a nice meaning behind too, it sounds nice in english

and Im the most comfortable with.

I’ll begin answering the questions, I’m sorry if I’m being too much.

Q: What communities do you consider yourself part of?

A: During quarantine, I explored better the world of anime so I can shamelessly admit that I

am weeb, also I’m a kpop fan and and also part of the bts fandom and lastly to be more and

when it comes to sexuality I just I want to be loved and I can’t say that I care about anything

else. Does that make me a pansexual? I really don’t know, my sexuality is something to be

explored more. Also to make things even worse I also say I’m Christian but I believe to what

I understand, and what I understand is that Jesus came down and showed us how to be

humble and kind so try be humble and kind. I think that’s the summary of every religion, it’s

just, people make it weird.

Q: Where do you feel you fit into them

A: When you say where u mean place, like, should I say church? JK. I will be talking about

kpop and bts specifically as they are my favourite and I confidently hold the most information

about. Wait I think i didnt get the question so i will just say that compared to bts themselves

I’m their fan, I just admire and respect them as humans and artists.

Q: What drew you to them?

A: It was november 2016 and I just randomly heard a remix of their song blood sweat and

tears. I was curious about the original version so I searched and looked it up. So techinaclly

speaking it was that song. What made me want to learn more and explore them and the

genre. What I saw in bts was like 7 well mannered people who love and respect each other

while making cool music. When I was 15 I was in a dark place lets say, I knew I needed help

but angry disrectpeful and violent teenagers was a common thing in my school so lowkey I

was the only one who thought I needed help. I liked bts so much I wanted to be closer to

them so naturally i would copy their mannerisms and behaviour. Sounds weird and toxic at

first but I learned to respect my parents, my teachers and elders. I stopped fighting with my

friends and bullying my siblings and realised why my behaviour was wrong. Of course it took

a lot of time, it was a huge realisation. In the fandom we say that u meet bts when u need

them the most so my final answer to what drew me to them will be my need for comfort and

fresh air. And I was lucky they are actually a good influence. When it comes to anime, anime

is like cartoon but for adults but better. Its inpiring and I enjoy it a lot. During the first months

of quarntine I would spent 14 hours a day watching anime, I was obsessed.

Q: How do you express them in everyday life or do you hide them or not speak about

them?

A: I dont feel that brave expressing my personal preferences publicly. Although I now started

experimenting with colours on my hair again. When I was 17 I tried baby pink on my hair

inspired by Jimin’s look on bts’s Spring Day video clip. I felt pretty and cool but I was

instantly bullied at school for it so I dyed them back to brown. I recently had a bright red and

it was a mix of kpop and anime. I’m learning to dare and be me. I dont express my religious

beliefs and sexual preferences often because both topics are extremely controversial and I

dont have a clear view yet. I feel stronger defending kpop and anime. I usually look up into

Korean fashion style and sometimes I might share anime memes and bts clips on social

media but that’s as far as I can go for now.

Q: Do you think our communities help to make up our identities?

A: I would not use the word ‘make up’ just because I take it as you already know who you

are. I think that communities help you discover who you are, whatever people identify with

and choose as personal taste is a step for them to get to know themselves better. Me liking

kpop made me question why do I like kpop, what is that I like about it and whatnot, why I like

it etc. Slowly that way I discover little bits about myself. I believe it’s the same about

everyone.

Q: I am also after your fave lyrics, song, album or quote- or all 4 of them.

A: My favourite albums could be The Most Beautiful Moment in Life pt2 and the Love

Yourself trilogy. When it comes to lyrics they are countless but I will just give you what I’m

related with the most at the moment.

‘’I finally realized so I love me, not so perfect but so beautiful,

I’m the one I should love’’ -Epiphany.

My favourite quote would be from bts’s speech at the United Nations, Unicef, 24/09/2018:

‘’...And maybe I made a mistake yesterday but yesterday’s me is still me. Today, I am who I

am with all of my faults and my mistakes. Tomorrow I might be a tiny bit wiser and would be

me too.’’

My musical taste recently consists of classical ballet music pieces and tik tok song remixes.

I think am not going pick a specific song because I like a lof of songs from various artists and

genre and in this question I decided to just add material that helped me become a better

version of myself. I honestly believe that when it comes to bts what connects me with them

its more than their music and me being their fan does not define who I am.

Thank you so much for having me, I think your project is really interesting and me myself

struggled a lot about my identity and accepting and start loving myself.